Google 'Does love exist' and it will be immediately obvious that the debate is open. Some scientists say no, arguing that the human being is essentially an animal and not designed for monogamous existence. Surely scientists know better, but maybe not.
Another Google search this time for "monogamous animals" and one can find that more than a couple of
species form life long bonds. The furry, tree-swinging gibbon doesn't monkey around with a lot of partners in its 35- to 40-year lifespan. It's usually "'til death do us part" for wolves. After mating, beavers spend as much time maintaining their relationships as they do their dams and lodges.Some 90 percent of birds are socially monogamous. Even in the animal kingdom not every relationship is perfect. Cheating, breakups, and remarriage all occur within the animal community. Sexting and online dating, however, do not. Yet.
Perhaps the most tangible evidence of love is that it can be “seen”. It may surprise many that advances in neuroscience make this possible. According to the Times Online, scientists studied the brain scans of couples who were in love, after showing those individuals pictures of their loved ones.
The brain scans showed that viewing the pictures of their loved ones produced chemical reactions in the brain. Even more fascinating is that the brain scans of some individuals who were together for 20 years or more showed similar chemical reactions to individuals that had recently fallen in love! This signals that love can very well be maintained over extended periods of time.
If you are not convinced don't worry, a Google search for 'definition of love' returned more than 320 million results in less than a second. “How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?” — Albert Einstein. If Einstein could not do it then I will not be presumptuous to claim I have the definition.
Perhaps it is not meant to be defined but experienced. Perhaps in world were we demand proof beyond reasonable doubt we confuse the issues, and confuse marriage, friendship, monogamy, etc., with love. I'm not saying they are not related but perhaps love just is. In an era when we tend to chose the path of least resistance we tend to forget that there is good because there is evil, otherwise how could we compare. Similarly with love, it does not have to be forever nor it has to be once in a lifetime. Love is experience which is wonderful, enjoy it and 'Don't worry about the future Or know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum' Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen).
Rather than advice I would call these observations, being a Western European in a relationship with a Ukrainian I have some first hand experience which I feel is worth sharing. Much of who we are and what we believe is the result of what we experience during our childhood.
As Buz Luhrmann aptly puts it, "Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth".
You see, there is precious little in the way of practical material available in your local bookstore on the subject of relating to someone who was not raised with the same value system as yourself. And you can’t expect your partner to help you out because he/she is just as confused as you are. Those, like myself, who are actually attracted to another culture are the most at risk. This brings me to the first observation:
#1: Don’t assume that your interest in your partner’s culture will last, or that it will somehow prevent conflicts from occurring.
Never underestimate the depth of the roots of your own upbringing. Sure, it’s possible to change (given enough time and enough effort). But no matter how deep you dig, you will always be you. Your beliefs, your emotions, your priorities, in short, your whole approach to life, are shaped by the culture in which you were brought up. This leads to the obvious: #2: Don’t assume that the other person will change significantly just because of the relationship or because of your charming influence.
Some degree of cross-pollenization is bound to occur between two people who share an intimate relationship but when you start to expect change, then you start to get into big trouble. The best thing you can do for each other is to acknowledge the fact that conflicts will occur and will often occur for the simplest and most unexpected reasons.
That said, it should be quite obvious that you will want to find out as much as you possibly can about your potential partner and his or her lifestyle. You would be surprised how much is taken for granted in typical marriages, even among partners of the same background. What priority does the extended family play in the couple’s life, how are family decisions made, how much free time (time apart from each other) is considered normal for the partners, etc.
#3: Don’t assume anything. Assumption is the mother of all f###ups. Make sure you discuss with your partner every aspect of your future life together.
Also, don’t assume that when your partner says something it is unimportant and that it does not have to be discussed. Those areas are often the most important things to discuss. The fact that something is ‘not important’ may be a signal that one or both of you are making an assumption about the way some aspect of life will turn out based on your own past experience. Well, you might as well toss that ‘past experience’ right out the window because your partner and you, by definition, do not share the same past or the same experience. And that brings me to the next point:
#4: If your partner refuses to discuss a subject openly, treat that as a big red flag and find out why.
The beliefs people hold most dear are the ones which they are least likely to want to discuss with someone else. Unless you’re prepared to cheerfully accept whatever ideas or beliefs your partner may consider most important, I’d suggest you at least find out what those beliefs are before jumping into a permanent relationship with that person.
And I’m not talking only about religious beliefs (which may be important in their own right) but also beliefs about how life should be lived. Those things which you or your partner might call ‘common sense’. Well, the term common sense covers a lot of ground and is often based on those underlying assumptions we have been trying so hard not to look at. The only things that are actually common are things like not standing in front of a speeding truck or not walking into an empty elevator shaft.
For example, if you are very involved in a group which supports a particular cause but your partner sees this as one of your ‘hobbies’ — and if he or she has been brought up to believe that when two people marry they will give up the ‘hobbies’ of their younger days. And if you wait until after you are married to find out that all this is only ‘common sense’ to him/ her then you may well find yourself in a difficult situation real fast. Or if you find out that it is considered ‘common sense’ that you should give up your dream of starting that business and instead work as a corporate grunt in order to provide security for the family because that’s the way everyone else from your partner’s country behaves — my friend, you’ve found out way too late.
#5: Make it a point to talk about some tough topics (like money, raising children, where to live, etc.) before making those wedding arrangements.
Look, the stuff is going to come up sooner or later. Start an argument or two. Find out what it’s like to fight by your partner’s rules. No amount of love or respect is going to keep your ship from hitting the icebergs of life. You might as well know whether you will be able to work together toward a solution when the inevitable crisis comes up.
#6: Make sure that, between the two of you, there is at least one language in which you are both fluent.
This is very important. As a test, try taking some very subtle feeling or belief and explain it to your potential mate. Have him or her explain it back. If there is not a substantial understanding of what you explained, watch out. If either of you are unable to explain the subtle emotions that come up in a relationship without causing some misunderstanding, then you will be in for a very hard, if not impossible, road through life. Wait a while until one or the other of you is able to achieve a good degree of fluency in the others language.
After all, would you hook up permanently with someone whose face you had never seen? Not many of us would. Then how come we will so readily hook up with a partner whose soul we have never seen?
#7: Examine your own motives.
Is this someone you would hook up with even if you were safe and happy in your own country? If you are the partner who is trying to live in another culture, remember this: Culture shock can do funny things to a normally rational mind. Sure you’re lonely, sure there are things about your surroundings that you just can’t seem to figure out, sure your partner makes everything seem safe by filling you in on the subtle nuances of his or her culture. That’s the formula for a perfect couple, right? Wrong. What you have is a parent or a teacher, not a lover. And it’s all too easy to overlook the previous seven observations when it seems so obvious that this is the ‘prefect’ person for you.
If you see this happening to you, stop. Postpone any commitment. Get yourself comfortable with your surroundings. Disarm the ‘convenience’ in the relationship and then see what you think. Learn more about the subtle parts of your partner’s culture and then decide if you can tolerate, work with, and actually love that person because they are different and not despite those differences.
#8: Lay the family finances out on the table and plan out your budget for at least your first couple of years together.
Why? Even in single-culture marriages, money seems to be the biggest problem in making decisions together. Why not get a head start on the inevitable. After all, it’s going to be both of you in this together so you might as well start now.
Of course, you can figure that if you make it past the first couple of years (the most intense part of the learning curve when it comes to finding out about all the differences in your ideas and background), you can pretty much go back to planning things by the seats of your respective pants.
#9: Don’t underestimate the importance of keeping good relations with your partner’s parents.
You may have developed a great deal of independence from your family. Some hardly notice, and sometimes don’t even care, what their parents think of their choices in partners. However, the same is not true in all cultures. In some eastern European and Asian cultures there is still a great deal of synergy between parent and offspring, even well after they have left the nest and formed families of their own.
And the worst thing that can happen is to have your partner’s parents (or your own) constantly undermining the relationship, either consciously or not. If you can’t get their active support then at least settle for passive acceptance. Anything less should be a sign of trouble ahead.
#10: Be ready to help your partner through the inevitable rough spots.
Well, okay, this is sound advice for any couple. But just remember that you both will be setting out on an adventure — a full-time first-hand learning experience in the other person’s cultural labyrinth. None of us, I am convinced, ever really appreciates how many things we learn about life when we are young and that we take for granted every day. We consider many of these things just plain ‘common sense’ but they’re only common if you and your partner have common backgrounds. Expect the unexpected. Then you won’t be disappointed.
#11: Forget about any rules.
If you have come this far and still intend to undertake this major life project, then may your experience be one of constant joy and wonder. And if you happen to be one of those for whom an inter-racial marriage has turned out well, I would certainly love to hear from you. Learning up-close about another person can be simultaneously the greatest adventure of your life and the greatest challenge.
Long distance relationship is not a piece of cake to deal with, but nowadays, when more and more people meet each other through online dating sites, "distant love" is becoming a common thing in our everyday life. Almost every third couple experienced long distance relationships at least once. No matter how far from each other you live, distance can either kill your feelings or strengthen them. If the second option is much more appropriate for you and you have a strong desire to fight for your love then you must learn some rules of how to keep long distance relationship and make it work.
As previously mentioned it doesn't matter how much kilometers separate you from each other. You may either live in the same country or be separated by the Atlantic Ocean, but in both cases you'll not avoid typical long distance relationship problems. No matter how strong you love is, you still have to remember that you should work on your relationship all the time.
Communication
If you are willing to do everything to keep your relationship despite the distance then the first thing you should remember about is communication. The Internet can help you to get closer to a person that lives thousand miles away from you. For instance, most of online dating sites offer their members such services as sending messages and arranging video chats. If you setup your free profile with us, we at Nymphy's of Calypso will help you make it work. You can use these features every day and any time when you have a free minute. This way you'll definitely make your long distance relationship work.
Stay Updated
Don't forget to stay updated with your loved one's life and share your favourite moments. Open the window to your life for her. Write your morning "hello" and your "good night" before going to bed. Do live video chat and show your smile to her. Choosing live video chat you get an opportunity to see each other's faces during your conversation and a possibility to express your feelings and emotions. It's unbelievable but some men even proposed to their future wives online! This may seem weird but it definitely proves that there is a lot of methods of how to deal with long distance relationship. Share Pictures
Share pictures with your "honey bunny". For example, send her your "selfie". This may be a funny one that will make her smile. You can also send the pictures of the street where you live, your work place, you and your friends together. This way you share your life with her and show you really care. Give Your Attention
Don't forget to give her your attention. Long distance relationship doesn't imply only Internet communication. Show your creativity and bring some material note to your relations. For example, no doubts there are lots of various flower deliveries in her country, so don't hesitate to surprise her by ordering her favorite flowers. Just imagine her eyes while she's getting them from a deliveryman. If you attach some sentimental note to your bouquet she will get even much more excited and pleased.
One more good advice on how to make long distance relationship work is to read the same books and discuss them afterwards. This way you'll be able to find out each other's opinions on the same theme that will help you to know each other better. Reading the same books or magazines will also make you feel united.
Send her some of your personal things by post. For example, you can send your t-shirt sprayed with your favorite perfume so she can sleep in it instead of her nightgown. Or this may also be some of your watches so she can wear them and remember you every time she looks at them.
Listen to the Same Songs
One more idea of how to keep love in long distance relationship is listening to the same songs. Let two of you make your own play list for each other. Download these tracks to your cell phones and listen on your way to work. This way you may learn each other's musical tastes and feel closer to each other.
Long distance relationship was meant to be complicated, but it's OK. Good things come to those who wait, but remember that your dream is also waiting for you somewhere and a combination of time and distance may sometimes be a clue to a brand new level of relations. Long distance relationships have their pros and cons, but it's worth to keep and fight for them if you really love.
A selfie brush, hat or a belfie stick, these are but some of the craziest selfie gadgets we came across.
The net is full of such gadgets, claiming to give you that perfect selfie. We have reviewed some of these gadgets so that you dont have to and our winner is the Extendable Handheld Selfie Stick.
At Nymphs of Calyps we all agree that Selfie Stick is like the invisible photo companion that you always wished you had.
The Extendable Handheld Selfie Stick or monopod is a collapsible rod that looks and function very much like the extendable pointers that public speakers use for presentations. At the tip of the rod is an attachment for mounting a camera with a tripod mount or the included adapter for mounting a smartphone. To bring your selfies to the next level of photography, just attach your smartphone or camera to the selfie stick, set the auto-timer on the camera, extend the stick and put on your best pose.
The selfie stick fits all iphones but not all androids. The Samsung Galaxy S4 and S5 and the Samsung Galaxy Note 2 and 3 have a screen which is wider than 2.6 inches so you might need to get hold of a mount adapter.
When not in use the selfie stick collapses in 20cm long, fitting in most handbags or even your jeans back pocket.
Not all selfie sticks come with a remote trigger so if you want to splash out a little more and have that little extra edge and comfort, look out for a monopod with a triggering mechanism in its handle.
This series comes to an end with out or 11th Tip. Look at the picture before you snap it.
A lot of camera phones now have the ability to switch the phone around so you can see the photo you are taking before you snap it -- do you like it? Then snap it!
Are you ready to start taking some sensational selfies? Some of you out there have already totally mastered the art of taking a good selfie, share your experience with us. As with anything in life with practice anyone can be just as good! The most important part of taking a selfie is have fun and be confident! Do you have any tips on taking a fabulous selfie?
10. To mirror or not to mirror. That is the question. Whenever you want to take a selfie, it is normal that you want to check yourself in the mirror first and you might be tempted to take a picture of yourself whilst looking at the mirror. There are pros and cons.
You can often see the phone you are using and overall, they typically don't look that great! some say. But you might have an artistic flair and taking a picture with mirror can create some great effects. Not to to mention that they can also be a lot of fun.
So whether you use the mirror or not is up to you, but a good rule of thumb is, a selfie is about you, so is your photo about you or your camera?, what about that background? and if you can make it creative and interesting why not.
The silly selfies that you take are often the best and truthfully, they can be super fun to take! Pull a fish or duck face, really pull out the cute faces and even try some amazing props, all based around silliness!
This morning we wrote about putting on a Disney makeup but the possibilities are endless and the only limit your imagination.
Camel teeth is better than camel toe in a selfie. It is not as difficult as you think, click away and we guarantee that occasionally you will land that once in a million picture.
You never know one day Beyonce will pose for your selfie, it happened before ;).
We are not going crazy but we received a tweet and we liked. So as our audience is growing we thought why not share it, it sure deserves an audience.
So whether you have a party or just like the makeup, why not give it a try and perhaps snap a few selfies.
With photos as in life there is more than just one angle ;)
A lot of people do not consider the angle of the picture when they are taking their own selfies; don't be that person! Some #people look great when they hold the phone up and angle their face upward -- think about it! Switch it up and find your best side and your best angle. Don't be scared to try something different!
Pick your best angle…no double chins please. Angles can do wonders for a selfie. Downward angles should be avoided at all costs – double chins are flattering on no one. A straight-on or above angle works best. Straightforward shots make you look the most natural, and shots taken from above can highlight shadows and make you appear slimmer. Just try not to take them from too high, or you will end up with bobble-head syndrome. According to popular dating website AnastasiaDate, the most popular angle for woman is the “Myspace angle”, which is when she takes the photo from above, coyly looking into the camera. The selfie shot most practiced by men is the “ab shot”, which is a photo taken in the mirror – you guessed it – shirtless.
So for our tip number 7 we will get a little more technical. Do not be afraid, it is as easy as abc) and you do not need to be an expert or invest in expensive software.
When taking photos, there is nothing wrong with editing them! Use a filter for a cool vintage feel, crop out some of the photo that you don’t like or why not create a fun collage? These simple tricks do not mean you are trying to hide something (but can also be useful for that purpose) or you are not being yourself. Editing your photos can add a special something to an otherwise plain or common photo! Add a little glow or a frame, the effort you put in your photos is guaranteed to show and making your profile picture standout.
There are many free online photo editors, we find that befunky is probably one of the best free editors out there. So what are you waiting for, give it a try.
Remember all those episodes of America’s Next Top Model you watched? Put Tyra’s tips to good use and strike a pose!
Confidence is key, no need to be shy when you’re taking a selfie. Nobody is watching you trying to take silly or sexy photos, so give it your all! Be confident and have fun, it’ll show in the photo and you will have plenty of fun in the process.
Like we said yesterday, the More the Merrier taking photos when you are being yourself and letting loose is fun. You want to post that perfect selfie, but you are the ultimate discriminator of what is shared.
This our 5th Tip in our series of how to take the best selfies. We hope that you are enjoying these tips so far. Your comments and your experiences are welcome.
When it comes to taking pictures, the more you take, the more pictures you have to choose from. Don’t expect to get your best shot the first time. Even the most effortless-looking photos took time and preparation! Don’t be afraid to
take tons of photos so you have the best pictures to choose from when you’re picking your next profile or Instagram pic!
Watch this space as we are planning something special soon for all of you selfie lovers.
species form life long bonds. The furry, tree-swinging gibbon doesn't monkey around with a lot of partners in its 35- to 40-year lifespan. It's usually "'til death do us part" for wolves. After mating, beavers spend as much time maintaining their relationships as they do their dams and lodges.Some 90 percent of birds are socially monogamous. Even in the animal kingdom not every relationship is perfect. Cheating, breakups, and remarriage all occur within the animal community. Sexting and online dating, however, do not. Yet.
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